BONKCOACH

For cyclists & runners

Your ride deserves
a roasting.

BonkCoach is a satirical AI coach. Connect your Strava and every new activity gets a parody coach roast — text plus an audio voice note you can listen to and share.

Connect with Strava How it works

Free. Opt-in. We never auto-post, never train AI on your data, never store your route. Read the privacy policy.

Example roast

For a 25 km gravel ride at 22 km/h average:

You do not have a future on this bike.

You do not have a future.

22 km/h average. Twenty-two.

My nan's e-bike just lapped you in spirit.

The climb broke you.

The climb broke you in a way your training plan will not survive.

There is no PR here.

There is only wind, laughing at your cadence.

Each roast comes with audio in a drill-sergeant voice. Yours will sound different — we generate fresh comparisons for every activity.

How it works

  1. 01

    Connect Strava

    One-click OAuth. We ask for read-only access to your activities — never write, never your friends'.

  2. 02

    Ride normally

    When you upload a new activity to Strava, our webhook picks it up within seconds. No app to open, no button to push.

  3. 03

    Get roasted

    Email arrives with the roast and a link. Tap it, hear the voice note, share with your cycling group chat.

Things we don't do

  • ✗ Auto-post comments on Strava
  • ✗ Modify your activity descriptions
  • ✗ Train AI on your Strava data
  • ✗ Store your GPS route
  • ✗ Show your data to other users
  • ✗ Sell or share data with advertisers
Connect with Strava

Disconnect or delete your account anytime from the dashboard.