About BonkCoach

BonkCoach is a one-person side project that turns your Strava activities into satirical AI coach roasts — short scripted voice notes you can play, share, or quietly delete.

What it does

When you connect your Strava account, BonkCoach subscribes to webhook notifications from Strava. Every time you upload a new activity, our backend:

1. Receives the notification from Strava (just the activity ID, nothing else)
2. Fetches that activity's stats using your authorized read-only token
3. Sends those stats to OpenAI's GPT-5-mini, which generates a short roast script in the voice of an exaggerated, fictional drill-sergeant coach
4. Sends the roast text to ElevenLabs, which produces an audio voice note
5. Stores the audio in a private S3 bucket and writes a database row
6. Emails you a link to a private page where you can listen and share

The whole loop typically takes 15-30 seconds. You don't open an app. You don't tap a button. You just ride and the roast lands in your inbox.

What it isn't

• Not real coaching advice. The roasts are intentionally exaggerated and comedic. Don't make training decisions based on what BonkCoach says.
• Not affiliated with anyone. Not Strava, not Garmin, not Apple, not ElevenLabs, not OpenAI. We use Strava's public OAuth API like any third-party developer.
• Not a Strava commenter. We never post comments on activities — yours or anyone else's. We never modify your activity descriptions.
• Not an analytics product. We don't aggregate data, we don't compare you to other riders, we don't train AI models on the data we collect.

Voice and content rules

The roast generator is constrained by a system prompt that explicitly forbids:

• Insults targeting protected traits (race, gender, religion, sexuality, disability, body weight, age, nationality)
• References to self-harm, suicide, eating disorders, or medical advice
• Profanity
• Impersonating real people or brands

The voice is a licensed ElevenLabs voice with an inline accent direction — it's a fictional character, not an impersonation of any real person.

Why does this exist?

Inspired by the angry-coach genre that goes viral on cycling and running TikTok every few months. Most cyclists already imagine someone yelling at them on the climb; BonkCoach just makes it explicit and gives it cycling specifics.

Who built it

Built by JC Alonso, a software engineer based in Malaysia who rides bikes and writes Go. It's a personal project, not a company. If you have feedback or want to chat, email bonkcoach@malaysiacyclist.com.

For data handling details, see the privacy policy.